Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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