Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
