Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
