when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
