We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I bet he comes in French.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
