So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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