Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
