she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
