so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
