I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
