The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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