Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
