ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
