I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
