Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
