Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
