Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
