That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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