They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
