Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
