did you get engaged???
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
