walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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