Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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