Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My pussy is not your playground.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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