apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
