She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
