We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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