YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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