Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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