My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
