called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize