so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
