Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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