Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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