dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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