Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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