you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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