If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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