Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize