When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
