i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
