id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
