Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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