i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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