im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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