Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
