i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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