Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
