haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
