tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
