We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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