SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
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