we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
i've created a new STD.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Who died my cat blue again?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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