the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
