I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
