Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
