Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
