She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
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