ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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