Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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