I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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