I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
