I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
