I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
