Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
