Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
