I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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