Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
